Life can be like juggling. Juggling bowling balls.
And bocce balls. The heavy dense balls we play with.
A few weeks ago, in April I was juggling three heavy bowling balls of a corporate job, my family/home, and publishing Pinay.com. I spent my free, non-corporate hours, and non-family hours on publishing the site. Sometimes, the publishing work encroached on my family time. If I tried to prepare home made meals, I had less time for publishing. I spent time on publishing I couldn’t make home cooked meals. Then I had little time for visiting or calling friends. And no more time for the volunteer work I so loved to do. I also had no more time for making art. Of any kind. These last two deprived my soul, and were especially hard on my psyche.
So. I wrote down all those things that I did want in my life. I looked at the list and saw clearly that the corporate job was definitely not on that list. I could no longer work for someone else. Most especially “the man”. Or the 1% of the world.
Rather, I wanted to work for myself, doing the kapwa creative content that was intended to serve a purpose of empowering others. I called that “creative works” or Creativity in Service of kapwa, and it included the publishing, the art and the writing. And I also envisioned that work allowing me to travel back and forth between the Philippines, California and Texas.
So I did a quick infographic for myself and came up with the image above. To finish off this as visual and energy experiment I added the phrase Bahala Na for manifesting and law of attraction, and wrote it at the bottom of the page. And at the top I wrote “now”. I felt very satisfied with metaphorical these bowling balls and bocce balls. I no longer felt overwhelmed.
Yesterday, I got news that I am leaving the corporation. Actually I got my layoff pre-notification.
I was elated. I tried not to jump up and down during the meeting with HR, my director and my manager. Still, I couldn’t help it. I smiled in my seat. They had not expected it. Actually I get along great with my co-workers. I know it was very hard for them to break the news to me. They actually had tears in their eyes. I really do love them. But, they didn’t know at the time, that I had become ecstatic—in my mind’s eye, I could see myself dropping the corporate job bowling ball! And I could vividly see an open door to green, open fields, a world stage of working for myself and serving kapwa full time.
Bahala na. Indeed.